Moe and Gretchen Rubin talk about the core principles of habit formation and how to change them.
A Better Way To Change a Habit
I’ve been a big fan of Gretchen Rubin’s work for many years now, so when her new book, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habit of Our Everyday Lives was published earlier this year, I was all-in to learn how I can become even more mindful of my recurring habits. I started by taking her habits quiz, and was a bit surprised to learn that I shared her Upholder tendencies. Individuals like us are eager to honor expectations – both our own and those from others. Once we’re clear on expectations, we hardly require accountability or supervision, as we’re unlikely to disappoint others. Our desire to achieve becomes the catalyst to helping us build and sustain lifetime habits.
Drawing on the inspiration that I gained from Charles Duhigg’s work on habits, I am now better equipped to understand why my three keystone habits – wellbeing, relationships, and personal growth – directly correlate with my Upholder personality. As always, Gretchen is compelling and contrary; still as you’ll notice during our conversation, she’ll convince you that ‘the defining aspect of habits isn’t frequency, or repetition, or the familiarity of the cues for a particular behavior……the real key to habits is decision making – or, more accurately, the lack of decision making.”
Here’s what you can expect from our conversation:
- Why Happiness is deeply personal
- The correlation between Money and Happiness
- Is Happiness a habit?
- The 4 tendencies – Upholder, Questioner, Rebel, and Obliger
- The misconception of the 21 or 30 day timeframe to change a habit
- The four pillars of habit formation and change
- Why convenience and inconvenience is a powerful pillar of habits